Damascus

Amman, Jordan

 

On Saturday I spent the day wandering around Damascus. There's not a whole lot to say about Damascus. Personally, I much preferred Aleppo and was a little burnt out of just wandering around big cities when I arrived in Damascus. Most people just head to the old part of the city, which surrounded by an fortress wall contains the required souq, mosque, citadel and tea houses.

 

The souq in Damascus was no where near as personal or entertaining as the one in Aleppo. Technically it might have been larger based purely on square area, but the alleys are much wider and the store fronts are way more modern looking. While some parts of the souq offered that sort of claustrophobic-in-a-good-way feeling, for the most it was just more of the same goods for sale.

 

The Umayyad mosque is probably the most popular attraction in Damascus. Situated inside the old city, the mosque is reputed to be one of the oldest and largest ones in the world. I decided to pay the 50 SP entrance fee (no student card discount and only for non-Muslims and/or foreigners, I think) to visit the interior courtyard. I had expected to find a peaceful sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the souq, but instead walked into the largest kids play area I've ever seen! Turns out the courtyard is the place to take the family and let the kids roam free while the adults enjoy an impromptu picnic. There isn't any jungle equipment to play on, but there are plenty of soccer balls rolling around, games of tag and just plain kids running in every direction. I now know how they keep the marble floor so clean... You just drag kids over it or let them slide on it and they clean up any dust or dirt that might be on the ground! Since everybody else has taken their shoes off, the ground stays remarkably clean. The inside of the mosque was actually less impressive then I was hoping for. It's nowhere near as impressive as the mosques I visited in Istanbul.

 

After just people watching for awhile inside the courtyard I spent the better part of the afternoon just aimlessly wandering around the rest of the souq, including a quick visit up towards the Christian quarter, which seemed rather quiet and lifeless and stopped a few times at some local tea houses to just take in the sights and sounds.

 

I made one final stop at the Azem Palace, which was the home of Assad Pasha al-Azem, who was the former governor of Damascus. The palace is now basically just a walk-through museum with mannequins in each room depicting "life" in that section of the palace. Thankfully my student card got me a great discount because I didn't stay all that long at the palace before returning back to the hostel to plan for the evening. While the hostel was supposedly almost full, it sure didn't feel that way and I never did get a chance to really meet any other travelers there. There was a rather large group of Koreans that I barely saw, some older travelers that came and went and just the odd person here or there, but none that I really got talking to.

 

So without much else to do in Damascus, I decided to head out to watch a movie, choosing "War of the Worlds", with Tom Cruise, over "Zoro 2", which was my only other option. The movies are shown in English with Arabic sub-titles. Of course, as luck would have it, a seemingly innocent trip to the cinema would turn into a rather entertaining story itself...

 

It all started when I walked into the theater before I was supposed to. Not knowing the protocol, I figured that once I paid for my ticket that I could just walk upstairs and into the theater. As I opened the door, an usher indicated to me that I wasn't to go in yet, even though no movie was playing. No problem, I understand. However, some other guy waiting comes up to me and in 99% Arabic and 1% English tries to explain to me that the movie starts at 9pm and it's only 8.40pm. I know, I get it. He seems friendly enough but personally I'm not really in the mood for yet another "friend". I kindly tell him that I'll just wait downstairs and thank him for the help. He of course follows me downstairs, all along speaking to me in Arabic with little bits of English thrown in. In the cinema lobby, he points to posters of other movies and obviously says something about them, but I don't understand. I then indicate with a pleasant smile that I'll just wait outside, he of course follows me outside and keeps the "conversation" going. He's very nice and friendly, no doubt joking about something and genuinely trying to be my friend. But when you don't understand 99% of what the other person is saying, and they just keep coming at you with conversation, it gets a little tiring...

 

Outside, the "conversation" goes on. I slowly learn that he's a kung-fu student, possibly on his fourth belt. He's about 5'4" and solidly built. Not like any kung-fu person I've ever seen, but I'm not exactly up on my kung-fu physique.

 

As I enter back into the cinema around 8.55pm, he follows beside me, but this time with his arm on my arm, sort of the way a woman might hold on to a mans arm while walking down the street. Realizing that it's quite common in the Middle East for men who are close friends to do this, I go along with it, all but with an obviously strong reservation.

 

As we start going up the stairs, he reaches down to grab my hand, that's where I draw the line. Sorry kung-fu buddy, but we're not walking up the stairs holding hands. He's a little surprised, but just goes back to holding my arm. In Damascus you get assigned seating for movies and I was happy that our seats weren't together. However, much to my dismay, kung-fu buddy has a few words with the usher and before I know it, he's sitting beside me. The theater is probably only 10-15% full, tons of empty seats, and he's got to sit right beside me... /sigh

 

To make matters worse, he's got a real mean left-lean, completely hogging the arm rest and his broad shoulders/chest are well past the neutral zone and clearly in my space. I sort of nudge him back to his side, but the lean persists. Don't forget, all along he's still muttering things in Arabic, speaking to me and saying little things to people around him in the seats. I'd chalk it up as major ADD on his part, maybe too much caffeine, or maybe he just doesn't get it, but either way, I was his buddy for the night and that was that...

 

As we're waiting for the movie to start, for some reason he starts asking me how much money I have, at least I'm pretty sure that's what he was asking. I simply said "zero", to which he again looks surprised and pulls out his wallet. He counts out 7500 SP, which is a decent amount given that the movie only cost 150 SP, but remember that at roughly 55 to 1, he's got around 125US on him. Sorry kung-fu master, but that's not enough to buy me for the night, let along impress me...

 

Now here's the kicker. And honestly, I swear to I don't make this stuff up. I know you're thinking I must be, but I'm not, I promise... As the lights dim for the main attraction, he pulls the old yawn to arm stretch to left arm around my shoulders and neck trick!!! Uh, hello, this isn't high school dude, and I'm definitely not your date for the night. He tops it off with a smile as he looks at me. Sometimes I really think I'm too nice and wish I was more of an asshole because right then and there I would have loved to have done something, but instead I just smiled back, picked up his arm and placed it back on his side. There will be no cuddling during this movie Mr. Kung-fu!

 

That's about it for the attempts at PDA, though he does continue to have a severe left lean throughout the movie and never really stops making small comments here and there. I repeatedly "shh" him, but he doesn't get the message. From my one Damascus movie experience, talking and using a cell phone during a movie are evidently not considered to be rude activities.

 

With about 30 minutes left in the movie, kung-fu guy abruptly gets up, simply says "Goodbye" to me and walks out, and that was that. I never saw him again.

 

As for the movie, War of the Worlds, simply put it was terrible. Absolutely awful in my mind. I haven't read the book, and didn't really know anything about the story, but the movie was just dreadful. Nothing but shit getting destroyed for 2.5 hours and Tom Cruise repeatedly calling out the name of his daughter, while she cried somewhere on screen or off screen. Just terrible.

 

With kung-fu guy and a terrible movie behind me, I figured I'd just head back to the hostel and call it a night. But wait, apparently my "I need a friend" magnet is on full force because not far from the hostel, I get approached by another lone Syrian looking for some companionship. This guy isn't into kung-fu but at least I can understand him and at least give him a few minutes of my time. He's more direct then kung-fu guy and after the initial "Hello's" and "Where are you from?" questions, he pretty much says "Can I be your friend?". Uh, sure, I guess, depends on what that requires from me. He's pretty shy, or at least really nervous. Maybe this is the first time he's tried to befriend a westerner, I don't know, but frankly I'm tired and not all that interested in going along with it. He wants to hang out, I want to go to bed. After some back in forth, I convince that a) he really shouldn't follow me back to my hotel, b) I don't have a mobile in Canada that he can call and c) I actually am leaving the country within the next day. (Imagine, being actually able to use that excuse and it not being a load of BS...) Sadly, he gets the hint and goes his way, but not before I'm left to wonder if maybe I really am sending off some signal to the men of Syria.

 

You see, back in good old San Francisco, I think I was hit on once in six years. Just once! And that was nothing more then the guy working at a clothing store who he gave me a rather obvious wink as he told me to come back in 2 weeks to see the new selection of jeans. One wink... Six years! I've almost lost track in Syria how many guys have approached me... Weird.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. Deep down it really is a boost to the old ego. I mean, better to be hit on my someone rather then no one... I think. But after while it's sort of like a dog humping your leg. You know when you meet a dog for the first time and you're all excited when the dog is all excited. The dog is like "Cool, new person to play with..." and you're like "Sweet, the dog likes me, I knew I was a cool person." After all, no one wants to be the person that the dogs don't like. You ever had a dog growl or bark at you when it jumps around in joy for your friend. Not fun. I mean, to be rejected by a dog is pretty bad. So, as the dog jumps up and down and tries to hump your leg, you think it's great, the dog likes you and in the back of your mind your thinking "Hey, cool girls like dogs, this dog likes me, that must mean that cool girl likes me... Yeah baby!". But after like 20 minutes of the dog humping your leg it sort of gets old, then after about 30 minutes of it it starts to get creepy. People start to wonder why the dog is still humping your leg, you keep playing cool, but you know that you're past the "New guy smell" stage and maybe this dog really is trying to get something going, which isn't cool... It's a thin line, readers.

 

Anyways, what does a dog humping your leg have to do with all this well? Well, at first it was kind of cool/funny that the local Syrian gay population took an interest in me. Now it's just starting to get weird. Back home, some (you know who you are) might classify me in the " metrosexual" category. I think I'm still safely in the heterosexual camp, but whatever. (For the uninitiated, "metrosexual" is simply a term for someone who owns several watches and white t-shirts.) Maybe the Middle East is still just black or white and my few shades of gray are causing confusion with the locals.

 

(That or maybe there really is some massive sexual frustration thing going on with the men because simply put, you don't touch a women around here until you marry her... Maybe that's the root of the all the problems. Would be kind of ironic if sex actually solved problems in the Middle East rather then created them... Wouldn't surprise me since from what I've seen, the Middle East, or at least Syria, is one massive contradiction... More on that later)

 

So I don't really know where this is all going, but I hope that in Jordan I don't have so many dogs humping my leg, if you know what I mean... ;)

 

Kenny

 

P.S. Honestly, I don't make this stuff up... Seriously.